Today my mind kicked into gear long before I even got to school. For the last several weeks I have been contemplating one of the great mysteries of life. There is a long chain of events that started this thought process, so I will try to explain it in an effort to help you understand my perspective.
The first link on the chain dates back about 6 months to when my wife discovered the thrills of extreme coupon shopping. Since that time she has been coming home with various bargains that quite often cost her nothing. About a month ago, she announced that I was no longer allowed to use the bar of soap in the shower because she had gotten a lifetime supply of men's body wash for next to nothing. So now, despite the fact that my bar of soap still sits in the shower, I dutifully use the complimentary, yet highly scented, men's body wash.
Every morning as I enjoy the excessively warm water in my shower, I contemplate the vast array of smells that gets poured onto me each day. Let's start with the shave. Why do I need smells mixed with my shaving cream? It really doesn't matter since the men's body wash covers up the smell anyway. Then I get out of the shower and apply a liberal dose of deodorant which is designed to overpower the body wash. Later, I add a small pile of gel to my hair that mixes with the deodorant and body wash that still lingers to create a potpourri of olfactory sensation.
Just when I think I can't stand being around myself anymore, I reach for the toothpaste to add just a hit of mint to mix. What the product developers in product-land don't realize is that all men really want to smell like is a mesquite grill or fried bacon. What kind of man wakes up each morning and says to himself, "What kind of chemically induced, societally mandated, artificial smells can I mix together today to make me smell like things I don't even like?" Perhaps the man in skinny jeans, but not me.
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