I had one of those moments today where I knew I should keep a straight face, but it was so doggone hard that I really had to work at it to keep from busting out in laughter. Over the last two weeks it has become apparent that my own class is going to take up the bulk of my time as an administrator. Part of that has to do with the fact that they are a squirrelly bunch. The other half of the equation has to do with the fact that they are going to test the sub as much as possible.
Right after the morning recess, I found myself walking into the office only to be greeted by two of my own students working on their math assignment. "Uhh, why are you guys up here?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.
"We were talking, so the teacher told us to do our math in the office."
"Why are you sharing a math book? If you were talking in class, you can't work together in the office."
"I can't find mine," one of the squirrels replied. Now that is an easy problem to solve. So off I marched to library to get the kid a loaner book so he could work on his math in the office. Problem solved.
Just before I handed the book over, I added one final bit of wisdom. "Finish the assignment and get back to class. If I see you in here again, I am going to call home." What I didn't tell them is what I would say when I made the phone call and apparently they were dying to know.
Fast forward to after lunch. "What are you two doing in the office again?" I inquired.
"We were talking."
As man of my word, I contacted both mothers, but before doing so, I called the teacher to verify the specific offenses, which were numerous and severe. Here's where it gets good. "I can't have you guys in the office all day. I called your parents and you are going home right now," I said to them.
Squirrel 1's mom came to get him, but Squirrel 2's mom doesn't have a car, so she couldn't leave home. "I'll drop him off," I told her. And now it gets really good. This is the part that I wanted to laugh about, but I resisted (sort of). Once he was strapped safely in the back seat and we were on the way to the Squirrel's den, I thought about what would be the most tortuous thing I could do. I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the gangster wannabe and came up with a plan. This kid idolizes gang life and the horrific music that accompanies it.
I smirked as the plan formed and flipped on the radio to a country music station and cranked up the volume. I stopped short of singing along with it, mostly because I couldn't do it with a straight face. I have never enjoyed a drive in my car as I did this one.
Winning is nice. It feels good to win.
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